8 steamy sauna tips
One December, many years ago, I had a whole month of flight assignments to Berlin. On an especially cold winter day, I decided to stay in the hotel for the duration of the layover. Christmas was approaching and I wanted to rest up for the holiday season. I had heard the hotel had the best sauna in Europe, so I decided to check it out. A sauna might be therapeutic, I thought.
Whenever I’m abroad, I try to follow local customs. In the locker room, I noticed that the men walking in from the sauna were naked. I figured there were separate saunas for men and women, so I followed suit — or I should say, suit-less. The sauna consisted of seven different sections, each with specific instructions for use. For maximum results, the user should stay in each section for 10 minutes and then move on to the next station. I was given a timer that would go off every 10 minutes.
I walked into the first station, which was a eucalyptus steam room, designed to open the pores. I removed my towel and reveled in the heat. There is something decadent about sitting in a sauna when you know it’s snowing outside. A few minutes later, the door opened and five female Alitalia Airlines flight attendants walked in. I knew they worked for Alitalia because I had seen them in the hotel lobby when I checked in. My first thought was that I was in the women’s sauna and they were about to scream. Stretched out, butt naked and fearing their reaction, I quickly closed my legs.
To my surprise, they hardly took notice of me and removed their towels. So there I was, 22 years old, naked in a sauna with five equally naked Italian women, praying with all my might that an embarrassing body reaction was not about to take place. I had lived in Germany for a few years before taking the airline job, and had learned, somewhat, to deprogram the taboo about public nudity that I grew up with in America. Still, I was a young man at my sexual peak and this was going to be hard (no pun intended).
Somehow, I started to relax, and my fears began to fade. I felt wonderful, not in a sexual way, but in a peaceful way. I was in a room of naked people, without issues or uneasy feelings. It felt totally natural. Then my timer went off and everyone turned and stared at me. I got up and moved on to the second room.
This room was an extremely hot sauna with the smell of lavender. I relaxed, and sure enough three minutes later the five young ladies joined me. Each one was beautiful in her own way, with a different shape and distinctive characteristics.
The pattern of advancing through the rooms continued for the next three stations. We didn’t bother putting our towels back on between rooms, and I even managed to carry on a short conversation with a couple of the women. There were no incidents of blood rushing to the wrong part of my body as previously feared. Maybe I was growing up.
I got to the sixth section, which consisted of stairs leading up to a small plunge pool. According to the instructions, I was to immerse myself in the cold water and jump up and down, splashing water over my body. I was proud of my newfound maturity, but cold water and a naked man do not mix. I skipped the sixth station and headed for number seven.
This section was a sauna with a glass front looking out on the plunge pool. One by one, my lovely Italian sauna mates took their turns jumping in and splashing. There I was, facing out with nowhere else to look. It was as if I had front-row tickets at a show. I guess I could have closed my eyes but I didn’t think of that. Instead, I wondered: Who designed this layout? By the time the fourth plunge-pool contestant jumped in, my youthful vigor won the day, and no number of depressing thoughts would change the matter. I wrapped the towel around me and made my escape.
It was a great sauna, but was it “therapeutic”? Not exactly: I had difficulty sleeping and concentrating for the rest of the layover.
Here are some tips for enjoying saunas abroad:
1. Make inquiries. Your hotel might have a wonderful sauna and gym, but if you don’t ask, you’ll never know.
2. Give it a try. If you get an opportunity to take a similar sauna, go for it. It might be the highlight of your trip.
3. Ask about the dress code. Don’t assume anything. It may be clothing optional, clothing (or towel) mandatory, or even clothing not allowed.
4. Grin and bare it. If it is clothing optional, do as the Romans do. Everyone is self-conscious about one thing or another, but you should never be embarrassed of your body. Celebrate the differences and shed your hang-ups with your clothes. You will probably find the experience soul gratifying and quite liberating.
5. Think before you sit. If you sit down with a bare behind, put a towel down, or you might burn more than you bargained for. And if you do go into the eucalyptus room, bring tissues, because your nose is sure to run.
6. Take on water. Don’t buy a bottle of water to drink when you work out. Instead, bring an empty bottle and fill it up from the hotel’s purified supply.
7. Get a massage. You are away from home, and stressed from business or a hectic itinerary, so why not get a massage? Your hotel may offer deals for its guests. If not, spend a little extra on yourself. You’re worth it.
8. Delay happy hour. Instead of meeting up with your colleagues or travel companions right away, go to the hotel gym for 30 minutes — whether there’s a sauna or not. A short workout will cut down on jetlag and mitigate any hangover you might get.
A sauna can be just the thing after a long flight. Just sit back, relax and let the heat and relaxation work out any kinks that the cramped airplane seats may have caused. But mature or not, I still recommend that all naked men headed for the sauna stay away from cold-water pool.