A time to give thanks
The old joke goes something like this: What do you call a bunch of flight attendants in a basement? Answer: a whine cellar.
Yes, there is plenty for airline employees and passengers to complain about this year, but in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to mention those things that I’m thankful for.
This year in the airline industry, I am thankful for:
* The passengers who still love to fly and the eager anticipation that shines brightly from their faces. Through them, I renew my own enjoyment of flying.
* The men with the really bad comb-overs and toupees, which I can see perfectly as I stand in the aisle. They make my day, and give me more appreciation for my own disappearing hairline.
* The passenger who, after seeing the safety demonstration, asks if the flight is going to be a water landing.
* The Transportation Security Administration. Yes, I too get annoyed with long lines and instructions, but there hasn’t been a single successful terrorist act against a U.S. airline since 9/11. Coincidence? Maybe, but I am glad for their presence.
* After a flight on which everything has gone wrong, the granny who hands me a quarter and tells me that I did my best.
* The variety of flight attendants with whom I fly. I have recently flown with nurses, actors, a clown, a stripper, two psychics, a lawyer, a motivational speaker and a marital aids saleslady.
* The pilot who thinks he’s scoring points with the attractive flight attendant on the crew, when I know he doesn’t have a chance.
* Venturing to new destinations — not just exotic places, but small American towns, as well. I recently had the time of my life in Lincoln, Nebraska, which until two weeks ago I would never have given a second thought.
* The passenger who complains about too many video selections.
* The elderly couples who hold hands the entire flight. They give me hope.
* The infuriated passengers who tell me they will never fly on my airline again. My airline? I have never owned an airline.
* The feeling of exhilaration I still get every time on takeoff.
* The absence of complaints about how bad airline food is, now that there isn’t any.
* The people who don’t call flight attendants “stewardesses,” “air hostesses,” “trolly dollies,” “drink tossers” and “sky waiters.”
* The Air France crew that evacuated a burning airplane, saving hundreds of lives and reminding us all that flight attendants really are safety professionals.
* The passenger who buys three international First Class seats: one for herself, and the other two for her stuffed animals.
* The passenger who recognized me on the airplane and asked me to sign the copy of my book she was reading. And the other passenger who didn’t recognize me but laughed nonstop while reading my book, and actually recommended it to me.
* The passenger who snores so loud that you think something is wrong with the engine.
* My column at Tripso.com for the opportunity to vent, laugh and remind everyone that it’s all about the journey, not the destination.
* To live in a country where I can express my discontent with the upper echelon. Did I mention what I think of airline executives who give each other bonuses while cutting employees’ salaries and pensions? I think they are scum. God bless the U.S.A.!
* For my pilot wife who now flies the airplanes that she once only dreamed of flying.
* For my little-boy-to-be, Oliver, who is about two months from arriving into this world! When he grows up, he can become a pilot like his mother or a flight attendant like his father, but those choices might confuse him a bit.
The airline industry has given me reason to be grateful in many ways, but I am most thankful to you. You make the stories worth writing and my work environment interesting. You are the reason I keep coming back. Thank you!
Happy Thanksgiving to all, keep traveling, fly safely and try to laugh, for laughing is so much better than the alternative.