It’s Christmastime at the airport
I know, from many years as a flight attendant, not to expect my working flights to go as planned over the holidays. I may be scheduled to go to Los Angeles but I could be filling in for somebody on a European flight, instead. I try to take it in stride and always leave an extra day’s buffer in between important dates. But passengers often do not have the luxury of an extra day, so if you want to avoid spending Christmas in an airport terminal, pay attention to the following tips.
1. Weather or not, here I come. Avoid connecting through airports with known weather problems. For example, if you are flying from Los Angeles to Florida, don’t connect through Chicago or New York.
2. Do a good deed. Help the elderly lady with her luggage or buy the gate agent some chocolates from the airport shop — not only for the recipients of your kindness, but also for yourself. It is a proven fact that the more good deeds you do for others, the better you feel.
3. Check it out. Know that if you have more than your share of carry-on luggage, the other Christmas present-packers will, too. It won’t all fit in the overhead bin. Be sensible and check some of it in.
4. It’s a wrap. Don’t wrap your presents before you leave. Otherwise, some security agent might be opening your gifts, and you’ll be wrapping them all over again.
5. Don’t stop. Pay the extra money and fly nonstop if possible. Believe me, the less opportunity for misadventure, the better.
6. Be a pack rat. Pack an empty bag inside your luggage, as you will undoubtedly have lots of big presents to cope with on your return flight. (”No, sir, those items won’t fit in the overhead bin.”)
7. No weapons allowed. Innocent presents can trigger a weapons alarm. Remember the dud hand grenade discovered at Washington National Airport a couple of years ago? The passenger said it was a gag gift for a friend, but the security agents weren’t laughing. Anything even remotely resembling a gun, knife, bullets or other dangerous item should be purchased at your destination.
8. Make it a grand holiday. Bring the grandparents to your house and keep the kids home for a change. Traveling can be a lot more stressful for parents than for the elderly.
9. De-energize it. Take the batteries out of all toys and electronic items. This will save you many hassles at check-in and at security.
10. Be politically incorrect. I am so tired of the generic holiday greetings. Say “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Hanukah,” “Good Kwanza,” or whatever suits you. Just say something heartfelt. And while you’re at it, wear a Santa hat or something festive. You will brighten the atmosphere instead of adding to the gathering gloom in the gate area.
During the holiday season, I am always delayed at certain airports. My favorite thing to do when this happens is to bring out my portable music player. I cue my Christmas playlist full of my favorite holiday songs, then sit back and watch all the holiday travelers. Airports are full of strange and wonderful people, and with a little festive music playing in the background, it’s like watching a reality-show version of “The Nutcracker.”
Merry Christmas to you all. May your delays be short and your flights be safe. Don’t ever forget why you are enduring the holiday air-travel hassle in the first place. It’s because someone on the other end is eagerly awaiting your arrival.