Just fooling around
There is nothing like a little practical joke in the workplace to brighten up the day. It just so happens that my workplace is at 35,000 feet and while safety is the number one concern, we all need a release from time to time.
Occasionally we have the right crew and circumstances to let loose.
There are milder ones like sticking “CREW USE ONLY” on the back of a cute flight attendant, or rolling the butterballs in coffee grounds and serving them to the cockpit as chocolate truffles. We make instant dribble glasses by piercing holes in the plastic containers, or chill the coffee so that when the passenger says that the coffee is ice cold, you know that this time they weren’t exaggerating.
After exhausting the run of mild pranks, we tend to move onto the more
intricate ones, like putting coffee grounds on top of a crewmember’s
suitcase, so when he retrieves it at the end of a flight, he gets a dry coffee shower.
There is nothing quite like the satisfaction of a successful, well-planned prank. For example, a while back I placed a small cup of dry lemonade powder above my fellow joker’s seat. When the plane landed and the brakes pulled the airplane’s momentum forward, the cup tipped over, and doused his black hair with golden powder.
He laughed for a second, and then headed straight for the nearest toilet. Where, incidentally, a large cup of water had been carefully propped up on top of the door waiting for him. It drenched him as he entered, causing the powder to harden along with his hair. On his next five flights, he got me back by announcing my cell phone number as the new air travel help line.
I received over 200 phone calls and a big monthly bill.
Sometimes we play pranks on overly abusive passengers. They are usually mild, like changing the combination on a suitcase, or giving out first-class carnations, knowing full well that they would be sent to agricultural inspection when completing customs in the United States. We would feel that small sense of payback as we passed them being searched in the agricultural section.
Speaking of rude passengers, why would anyone being overly rude to a flight attendant, ask them for airport directions? It has happened to me many times and while I have usually resisted the impulse, twice I have sent them on a wild goose chase.
Sometimes pranks in-flight can get a bit out of hand.
I heard about a couple of pilots wanting to have fun with a brand new flight attendant. They told her that there was a problem with the landing gear. She was instructed to go out to the middle section of the cabin and jump up and down a couple of times in hopes of dislodging it. It was hilarious at the time, but one of the pilots eventually got suspended for it.
One joke even got a couple of pilots fired. The captain’s girlfriend was working up front so the pilots decided to pull their greatest prank by completely disrobing in-flight and requesting their crew meal.
Unfortunately, by the time their meal was ready, the girlfriend had gone to the back. Let’s just say that her replacement did not have the same sense of humor.
When the safety demonstration is not on video, many jokes can be played. Such as, writing something funny in the inside of safety card like “I am sexually frustrated.”
Rarely does the flight attendant look inside before unfolding it to show the passengers. My favorite was to insert a live air cartridge in the demo life vest–when the flight attendant pulls down the handle during the demonstration, the vest inflates and delivers quite a surprise. I can remember a young flight attendant actually wetting her pants on that one.
Do you ever wonder why flight attendants occasionally break out in laughter during the safety demonstration? No, we don’t consider the demo a particularly funny thing to watch either. What you don’t realize is that as you sit watching the flight attendant up front, she can see her colleagues standing in the back of the cabin, who are probably acting in some obscene or moronic manner to get her to laugh.
They are playing a game of “Gotcha.” The flight attendant facing you wins if she can keep a straight face. A smile is considered a draw, and a laugh or leaving the demo position is a loss. If she doesn’t look, then it’s considered chickening out, and not very sporting.
Yes, you might call it juvenile or even silly, but it passes the time and it makes for a much-needed laugh. I can’t see the harm in it all as long as it doesn’t infringe on personal safety.
Laughter is one of the most precious things in this world, and life should not be taken so seriously, especially in these stressful times.