Man, these people are annoying!
There I was, in my sixth hour of sitting at Chicago’s O’Hare airport, watching another foot of snow fall on the closed runway, getting the caffeine shakes from my third cup of overpriced coffee, listening to an incessant stream of political blabber from the TV screens in the terminal. Seemed like I had two choices: Read the USA Today — again — or do some people watching. I chose the latter and, taking a good look around, came to a sudden realization: There sure are a lot of annoying people out there.
Of course, flights attendants are among the most annoying people in the airline industry. I know this because I am a flight attendant myself, and I know how we sometimes behave. We shout at you to take your seat when the seat-belt sign is on, but we think nothing of getting up to use the lavatory ourselves. We shrug our shoulders when you complain, wear fixed smiles the entire flight, and threaten to call the authorities if you dare to cop even the slightest attitude. Believe me, we know that we are annoying at times.
But what about these clowns?
1. The line moron. This clueless individual holds up the line through sheer inattention. Here’s an example: In a 20-person line at Starbucks, with enough time to memorize the menu, the line moron waits until he gets to the register to begin thinking about what he wants to order. After he changes his mind a couple of times, the people behind him, who desperately need a caffeine jolt, are contemplating strangulation.
2. The stop-and-starters. These folks are guilty of what is called in the airline world “pulling a Christopher Columbus.” They are the people who, in a busy airport, feel a need to stop on every whim - oblivious to the people walking behind them. Whether it is to check for their passport, window-shop at the novelty store, or look at the departure monitors from 20 yards away, these airport cruisers will come to a sudden and complete stop. Then, as you try to go around them, they start walking again and you have to stop, thus creating a chain reaction of stop-and-go traffic.
3. The hands-free guy. This is the man with the hidden cell-phone device in his ear. When he speaks directly at you, causing you to utter some polite but confused reply, he points to his cell phone and frowns at you as if you are the idiot. This is also the guy who broadcasts unwanted details of his conversation to the entire gate area.
4. The hurry-up-and-wait agent. Your flight is late because of a late inbound aircraft, but when it is finally ready for boarding, the gate agent hurries all the passengers aboard as if they are to blame for the delay. Then the aircraft sits at the gate for 20 minutes while the baggage handlers board all the luggage … and parcels … and crated cats and dogs.
5. The security buffoon. This is the person who ignores all the instructions on how to get through security smoothly. He keeps his laptop in his bag when it goes through the X-ray machine, has a liter of water with him, and is surprised when his cell phone goes off in the metal detector. Who suffers? Everyone behind him in line.
6. The boarding bumbler. This is the passenger who, with a hundred people behind him at boarding, decides to stop in the aisle to methodically unpack his bag for every blessed thing he might need during the flight - newspaper, earplugs, breath mints, three snacks - you name it. And when you try to squeeze past, he fumbles something then grumbles, “I’ll just be a minute.”
7. The foot-stink neighbor. This is the guy who takes off his shoes in the middle of the flight and, even though he knows that the smell is paralyzing, ignores the stink or even jokes about it. If this happens to you, feel free to either pass the hint to this person or tell a flight attendant. We are not normally the stink patrol, but I have insisted to more than one passenger that if he didn’t put his shoes back on, I would have the authorities meet the flight. Same goes for nail polish and products like Vicks VapoRub, Bengay and smelly carry-on food.
8. The water guzzler. Now, we all know that drinking water is very healthy and I encourage everyone to do so. But the passenger I am speaking of drinks several gallons of water in flight, insists on sitting next to the window, and has a bladder the size of a peanut. If this describes you, at least offer to switch seats with the person on the aisle.
9. The sneezer. This is the passenger who sneezes or coughs without covering his mouth. To me this is one of the worst. We all know that sometimes we are forced to travel when we are not 100 percent but, please, let’s all practice proper hygiene. I recently flew as a passenger and the person behind me sneezed and coughed the entire time without once covering her mouth — even after I turned around and asked her to. By the end of the flight, the back of my head was damp. Needless to say, I caught a cold soon afterwards.
10. The stacker. This passenger stacks all his newspapers, snack wrappers, used Kleenex and empty beverage containers on one meal tray and hands it to the flight attendant. When the mountain of garbage unfolds like an accordion all over the passengers nearby, he looks at the flight attendant like it’s her fault.
11. The strategic complainer. This is the passenger who is angling for an upgrade, a free drink or some other sort of compensation. He has a complaint about every aspect of the flight — seat size, connecting flights, boarding hassles, air quality, you name it - and he won’t stop until he gets some kind of freebie. Unfortunately, these people are the ones who often do get compensated, while the kind, patient and courteous passengers don’t.
12. The late arrival. This is the passenger who somehow remembers to check in his bags but then forgets about his flight. Gate agents page him at every terminal, and when he does not respond, are forced to remove his bags. The problem is that it takes about 30 minutes to locate luggage in the cargo hold, and the errant passenger usually shows up after 15 minutes. Biggest excuse? “I was in the duty-free shop and lost track of time.” Really? You show up three hours prior to departure and it flies by just like that?
I know this list is only the tip of the iceberg and you probably have many more annoying people to add. So speak up: E-mail me someone who really bugs you when you fly. I will update the list and send out a copy of my new book for the best responses.
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11 Responses to “Man, these people are annoying!”
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My favorite is the clueless passenger who, upon arrival at the destination, stands waiting with everyone else waiting the l-o-n-g time for deboarding to begin. Only when it’s his/her turn to FINALLY move towards the door does this annoying person begin to think about wrestling the bags out of the overhead —causing those in the rows behind an even longer wait to get off the plane. And needlss to say, this is invariably the ditz whose bag is so overstuffed it’s almost impossible to yank it out of the overhead. More time wasted.
How about the “Rammer.” You know.. the guy who slams his seat back into your knees, feels resistance, brings the seat up, slams it back, repeats a few times, stands up to check for the obstruction, sees it’s your knees, sits back down, and then slams the seat back into your knees and leaves it there.
When I was younger I enjoyed playing “hacky sack” with this person’s seat by moving as frequently, and forcefully as possible. As an older person, not to mention one who only flys when medicated, I am able to resist the urge.
Still, the thought of leg pressing the rammer, and his seat, all the way up through first class is very appealing! :)
BTW…I am 6′6″, 260lbs and never recline the seat out of courtesy of the person behind me. The rammer is almost always 5 foot nothing and 120 pounds.
The parent who allows their young child to kick the back of your seat the entire flight, even when you politely ask the parent to control their little brat.
Being 6′3″ and over 200lbs, my number one complaint is the person that sits in front of me and insists on putting their seat all the way back smashing into my knees. They don’t seem to care that they’re laying in my lap or on my tray or that every time I move my legs, they bounce around. They just turn around and look upset like I invited them there in the first place.
Here is my pet peeve: You are on a flight that is running late and you have a connecting flight that you are in danger of missing. The flight crew, knowing your angst, asks that those not making a connecting flight remain seated for a few moments so that those having to make a run for it can deplane first. There are always a bunch of people who igonore this request and jump into the aisle as soon as the fasten seatbelt light blinks off. Pleas from those behind them to kindly step aside are either ignored or met with annoyed glares. GRRRR!
[...] week I wrote a column about some of the annoying people you can encounter when you travel by air. More than a thousand [...]
How about the luggage carousel hogs? Everyone is waiting patiently one foot back when an entire family steps in front of you. Like they KNOW their luggage will come out first! This happened recently and when my bag appeared I made them retrieve it for me.
[...] has the stomach-turning details of the suit. Perhaps James Wysong should add another to his Man, these people are annoying [...]
One of my pet peeves is the slob who wants the area under the seat in front of him/her, so they stow all of their stuff in the overhead bin. I was once one of the last 5 to board and was told I would have to check my bag, go claim it at the baggage carousel, go back thru security and reboard the SAME aircraft. When I told the FA that would result in my missing my flight since take off was only 20 minutes after landing, she marched thru the aircraft, opening overhead bins and handing little stuff back to passengers so there was enough room for my bag and those of the 4 passengers behind me. Many of the passengers who had to actually put their laptops and purses under the seat in front of them actually glared at me. Passengers who feel they are entitled to more overhead bin space than everyone else are SO inconsiderate!!
I agree with Dave and Gary.
A year ago, on a flight to Los Angeles, the woman in front of me tried for three hours to put her seat all the way back. No courtesy, no consideration.
When the airlines decided to put their seats so close together that they were made to seat a bunch of small people, they should have been required to prevent them from moving all of the way back.
Failing this, the customer behind’s comfort *should* take precendence over the so called right of the person ahead to recline.
Like Dave, I don’t recline my seat out of consideration for the person behind me.
What ends up happening is that I can’t get up to to go the bathroom for the entire flight because if I get up, the seat in front of me will be back so far I won’t be able to sit down. I’ll tell you, I would have loved to bounce that woman’s head off the seat in front of her. She seemed quite polite and normal in the boarding area, but seemed to turn into an idiot with the seat on the plane.
Certainly there must be some law out there that entitiles people to fly without their legs being crushed by the idiot in front of them.
This problem has been around for decades, and I can tell you that I and probably many others will flock to the first airlilne that actually does something about it.
I don’t think this is at all normal. But I just took a 10 hour international flight to London where the woman sitting in the window (I was in the aisle and there was no one in the middle seat) put her legs on my lap several times during the flight. This might have been because she downed at least five bottles of red wine during the flight and was completely passed out.
Either way, it was the most uncomfortable and awkward flight I’ve ever taken.