The absolute worst flight ever
Everyone has a horror story about their worst flight. This is mine.
We arrived at the gate about 5 p.m. for our eleven-hour flight back to the U.S. only to discover that we had a half-hour mechanical delay. We immediately became suspicious, because “half hour†and “delay†don’t belong in the same sentence. We were asked to board and do our preflight checks. We would be told later when passenger boarding would commence. Exactly half an hour later the passengers were boarded, so we assumed the problem was fixed.
Wrong.
Every half hour, an announcement was made stating that it would be yet another half hour. This went on for three hours, until our legalities grew short. Flight attendants have a contract that specifies how many hours we are allowed to work on board an aircraft. This prevents aircrews from being flown until they are so tired they could not possibly evacuate an aircraft safely.
Two minutes before we became illegal, the ground staff closed the doors and the plane pushed back. Yes, we were tired, but we were happy to be on our way.
Wrong again.
They had removed the jetway to prevent the crew from walking off, and continued to work on the plane. An hour later the problem still wasn’t fixed. The only thing the mechanics succeeded in doing was breaking the plane’s air conditioning system. Three hundred people started to sweat. Tempers began to flare.
While we were waiting, one passenger suddenly had an epileptic seizure. The passenger needed further medical attention and needed to be off-loaded, so we had to be pushed back to the gate, which took 45 minutes.
They took the passenger off, but meanwhile the crew had long since became illegal and demanded to get off the plane. The gate agent replied that it was impossible — there was no replacement crew, no vacant hotels in the city, and they had fixed the problem.
“Oh no they haven’t,†a voice shouted from out of the cockpit.
“Out of the way, we know our contractual rights.†Two senior flight attendants yelled, as they stormed off the plane.
Furious, the gate agent got on to the microphone and made the following announcement:
“Ladies and Gentlemen: Thanks to your flight attendants, this flight has to be cancelled until tomorrow. At this time, we are unsure of any vacant hotels due to the conventions taking place, so bring your pillows and blankets off the plane with you and prepare for the worst.†(She has since been fired.)
As the passengers got off, they hurled endless verbal abuse, threatened, and shoved; one elderly passenger even spat in a crewmember’s face.
The airport security manager greeted us. He informed us of the mini-riot that was occurring in the departure lounge. We would have to be smuggled out of the airport the back way with a police escort.
We got to a hotel with plenty of rooms at 1:30 a.m. I went to the soda machine, and got several dirty sneers from some of the passengers who were put at the same hotel. Departure was supposed to be at 12:30 p.m. the next day, but the problems were still not fixed, so the flight was delayed again until 5 p.m.
The passengers got on around 5:30 p.m., not at all happy, but just wanting to get going. The plane pushed back and rolled along the runway. We said our belated farewells to the airport. Or so we thought. When we got to the end of the runway, the captain made an announcement informing us that we would be returning to the gate because of a warning indicator light concerning the left engine. Three hundred passengers growled in their seats. Some cried. Others yelled.
Two hours later, we finally took off, praying for an uneventful flight, which we knew wouldn’t happen.
Halfway through the meal service, we discovered that 60 percent of the entree dishes were empty, and we could only hand out the trays, which consisted of a salad, a roll and a melted dessert. We gave away all the crew meals, but were still short. Two hours after that the audio broke, so nobody could hear the movie or the music. We then discovered that all of the economy toilets would not flush, so everyone had to use the four lavatories in the front. A line formed on each side of the plane, starting at first class and stretching to the middle of economy.
At one point, I couldn’t take it any longer, so I hid in one of the broken toilets, just to get away from the abuse.
The stench of the backed-up sewage was nothing compared to the insults that were being thrown at us. I was a grown man hiding in a toilet from an angry mob. The lavatory I was in had started to back up and the stench had become intolerable. I put on my bulletproof face, emerged from the smelly cubicle and tried not to let the rude comments sink in. One of my colleagues actually quit in the middle of the flight and remained in the cockpit for the duration. (She had a nervous breakdown).
Each hour seemed like an eternity, and the passenger abuse never ceased. We got closer to our destination, but joined a holding pattern for two hours until the captain declared an emergency priority landing. The airplane limped into the gate.
We were desperate to put this catastrophe behind us, but lo and behold, the jetway broke. It took another 45 minutes until the ground crew pulled up the temporary stairs and let off the angry mob.
All of the flight attendants hid in the bathrooms, rather than smile and say good-bye. I wasn’t fast enough as all of the toilets were taken, so I was forced to take more abuse. Everyone was furious. I mentally flinched at every comment.
“I’m never flying this crappy airline again,†many said as they stormed off the plane.
“After this flight, I wouldn’t either,†was the only response I could offer.
A little old lady was the last to get off. She smiled, gave me a quarter and said, “You tried your hardest, and I know it wasn’t easy. Thank you, sonny.â€Â
I nearly burst into tears at that very moment. When I got home, I opened a bottle of red wine and lay in a hot bath for three hours.
If you’ve had a worse flight than this, please send me the agonizing details, I want to hear about it. It’s not a contest. It’s jus that misery loves company.
And remember, the only bad flight is the one you can’t walk away from.