Many of us love gallows humor, even if it’s tacky, and even if it’s awful — and yes, most of us in the travel business are guilty of passing around horrible jokes after travel disasters. But the best gallows humor is when there are no actual deaths or serious injuries involved.
Which means that US 1549 has just provided us, ironically, with one of the feel-good stories of the month. And of course, joke fodder.
For example:
US Airways has announced they are now the official airline of the US Swim Team.
At this point there’s at least something deeper under water in New York than most people’s mortgages.
US Airways has announced they did of course not charge passengers for their life jackets. They will bill them later.
New Yorkers haven’t seen a jet fall that fast since Brett Favre.
Passengers wondered after the fact if they should have been suspicious that the scheduled inflight movie was Titanic.
The hottest new inflight read? The seatback emergency card. (Especially that part on water landings.)
The Secret Service has assured Americans that should a similar situation arise, Air Force One is also capable of a water landing. At which point President-elect Obama will simply walk to safety.
Possible casual attire to be seen at inaugural formals? “I checked my tux on US Airways and all I have left is this lousy t-shirt.”
Can you imagine the baggage claim issues, and the insurance company phone conversations, especially with phone-centers in India. “Well, it’s not that my luggage is lost, I actually know where it is…but there’s an issue.”
New acronym – Using Sonar Airways
Actually the plane went down in a heavily trafficked part of the Hudson that is also used by cruise ships. Wonder how long it will take Royal Caribbean Cruise Line to add the “New York Snorkel” experience to their shore excursions?
The pilot did a great job of landing in the Hudson River, although perhaps a more appropriate place for such a spectacular crash landing would have been Shea Stadium. Specifically the bullpen mound.
Interesting karma…that this happens to the only airline in the US that currently charges for onboard water.
This is the actual airline flight information update that travel agents could read today.
(translation – “OUT” of the gate, 303p – 18 minutes late. “OFF” the runway – 325p. Estimated time of arrival in Charlotte 516p..well, not quite. No update for “IN” the Hudson. And the last line is reasonably self-explanatory.)
A/OUT 303P L00:18
A/OFF 325P
T/ETA 516P L00:26
A/LX ADJ-FLIGHT CANCELED DUE TO AN OPERATIONAL ISSUE
And my son’s contribution: New Yorkers were disappointed to hear it wasn’t the Knicks charter.
One enterprising writer posted a news report about the accident from the point of view of the geese. No passengers were injured, however the flock was decimated.
New York, N.Y. — A flock of geese, bound for the warmer waters of Charlotte, N.C., was almost wiped out by an airliner which flew directly into the V-shaped flock north of New York. Only two geese survived. Both landed safely on the Hudson River.
Having sustained damage to its engines, the airliner also landed on the Hudson.
“We didn’t even see it coming,” said Loosey Goosey, who flew on the outer fringes of the V. “Mother Goose took a direct hit and fell immediately. Fred and Gertrude were sucked into one engine, Eggbert was pulled into the other. It was awful.”
“All I saw were feathers flying,” said Canada, who was flying next to Loosey in the formation. “It’s so sad. Those planes should have horns or something.”
The International Committee on Safe Migration is planning a full investigation.
All kidding aside, it was a pretty miraculous performance by the crew, and actually in many ways by the passengers. With all the stories of selfish, careless and flat-out stupid behavior by air travelers, it was great to see everyone involved step up to the plate…and/or out on the wing, as the case may be.
By the way, other jokes or attempts at jokes are welcome as comments.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for that. As a season ticket holder of the NY Jets, I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard at the one about Mr Favre.
As a former US Airways employee, wife of a US Airways pilot, and friend of many US Airways current and former employees — I am not laughing.
Anita
Thank you, Anita Dunham-Potter.
Janice, let’s try this scenario: Your MOTHER falls down a flight of stairs. Breaks her leg and ends up in the hospital.
Where’s the HUMOR in that?
Interesting karma…that this happens to the only airline in the US that currently charges for onboard water.
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The geese were specially trained by Al-Qaeda for suicide plane crashes.
I’m very surprised that the FLIFO display wasn’t locked out. That’s standard procedure in these sorts of situations.
The last line isn’t completely self-explanatory. In most airline computer systems, FLIFO text is automatically programmed. The operations agent enters the delay time and a code and automated text is given to the agents and sent to the Web site to help describe the reason to customers.
The code “ADJ” is a sort of catch-all when the cause can’t be assigned to weather, maintenance or something like that. The text “FLIGHT CANCELED DUE TO AN OPERATIONAL ISSUE” isn’t something some dunderhead entered after he learned the flight went into the river; it’s an automated catch-all meant to provide a blanket statement to fit a variety of subjects. There is no code for “FLIGHT CANCELED BECAUSE IT LANDED IN THE HUDSON RIVER.”
An entry requesting FLIFO should have brought back a computer response like “FLIGHT LOCKED OUT.” Every airline employee knows what that means.
Somebody at USAir goofed.
And, Janice, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say that – gallows notwithstanding – the humor was lost on me. Maybe I’m too close to the subject.
As a former ramp agent (the guy with the wands who waves in the aircraft) for Horizon Air, I felt horror back in January 2000 when Alaska Airlines Flight 261 crashed into the Pacific. My heart went out to the victims, and my resentment to people who made jokes about it. USA Today lost a number of subscribers when it ran a cartoon lampooning the mechanical condition of the aircraft.
That said, US Air Flight 1549 did not have a single casualty in its crash. The flight crashed, but nearly everybody walked away from the aircraft. Two women broke their legs. That’s it. No loss of life. When was the last time that happened in commercial flight?
So, given that the passengers were extremely lucky that the entire crew (not just the CO) on board kept their wits and did their jobs, saving lives (on the ground as well as the passengers, not to mention their own) in the process, I think we are allowed a little gallows humor.
Think of narrowly avoiding an accident and joking about it afterward to relieve the tension and adrenaline.
Anita, after this, I’d fly with your husband anytime, any flight. The executives at US Air may not have their heads screwed on right, but their crews sure do. I’m proud of them all.
Now, for my own flight humor, this one gleaned from a commercial pilot:
“A good landing is a landing you can walk away from. An excellent landing is one where you can use the aircraft again.”
I’ve been flying for twenty some-odd years. I, too, have developed a gallows humor about flying. With everyone safe, to me, it is a way to calm the fears we all have about flying.
As I leave my house, my wife and I have a routine that goes like this…..
Wife: Have a safe flight
Me: I’ll do my best, but it’s really up to the pilot. If he’s having a good day, we all have a good day. If he’s having a bad day………
I then give her a kiss on the cheek and I am out the door.
We all have our own ways of going through life. Mine is hopefully to have a smile on my face as I approach anything.
As a daughter of a US Air pilot, I am very amused.
Lighten up, Anita.
Now departing Pier 17, USAir flight 1549 . . .
URGENT URGENT URGENT
IMMEDIATE CUT-IN REQUESTED
The Avian Broadcast Company [ABC] is reporting that a USairways Airbus A320 jet full of humans impacted a flock of geese flying in a clearly identifiable ‘V’ formation over the eastern shoreline of the main food source, about a 1/2 days flight east of the large garbage source. ABC is reporting numerous fatalities in the formation. More to come.
I did have to laugh at the one about the geese and the one about Favre. These are just some lame little one-liners to remind us that it’s okay to smile. The worst that happened is some ipods and laptops have to be replaced now. Big deal. I don’t know anyone on the flight crew specifically, but I bet even they are making a joke or two about this experience. Lighten up.